Ugh…. the past few days have been pretty much bullshit and then it all hit the fan during my training today — I was all burnt out from working late all week, I ate like trash all weekend, and then I stupidly (really stupidly) attempted a 300# deadlift which I promptly failed to make, sending my mood flying off the rails. I don’t even know why I was testing my max today. I really shouldn’t have. It was fucking stupid. Aside from the fact that my programming wasn’t calling for it, all the signs pointed to “DON’T DO THAT LANA!!”… but I did it anyway.
I was in a bad mood from working so much all week, and I was PMSing, and on some level maybe I thought pulling a milestone PR would cheer me up (yep, that’s it). I don’t really know why I was acting so dumb (no, I do, it was what I just said, I wanted an ego boost). Anyway, needless to say, I was in a much worse mood afterward if you couldn’t guess. I know I’m geting over a back injury, and I know I need to be patient, but I am just SO CLOSE! I AM SO SICK OF BEING STUCK JUST UNDER 300#s ON MY DEADLIFT AND 250# ON MY SQUAT. I JUST NEED TO PASS THESE MILESTONES!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here’s a picture of the barbell I couldn’t pick up.
Seriously though, this is why you don’t test your max as a way of trying to cheer yourself up when you are PMSing….. it doesn’t really work…. on any level. You don’t just get to set PRs because you feel like it. You have to earn them and I honestly didn’t earn this one yet. Soon though. Soon.
When I got home from the gym I had a total freak out and cried for a while — bitching and tearing up to my husband about how I just want to be stronger and how much I hate that haven’t hit these numbers yet. After a few minutes he told me it was time to get over it and reminded me that I am awesome.
We then went to our Icelandic language classes and had Shake Shack for dinner and we lived happily ever after 🙂
Icelandic, 1 sentence summation of the post: (This is a thing I’m going to do now as a way of helping me learn Icelandic)
Ég átti erfitt með að deadlifting dag, en maðurinn minn fagnaðarlæti mig upp.
(I had a hard time deadlifting today, but my husband cheered me up)