Taking a break… because I’m broken

::sigh:: another 3 or 4 days without posting. What’s been going on? Well, I am going through some general existential bullshit in regard to my back injury. 

Existential teacup

The past couple weeks of training have felt wonderful mentally — I’m hitting some numbers that I’m proud of and I’m happy to be progressing with my strength on all 3 lifts main lifts, as well as my accessory work. That said however… my old back injury has been KILLING ME and my heart is just not into what I’m doing. Every day for the past month or so, my back has been seizing up, spasming, and just throbbing with pain. I wake up with it hurting every night and it seems to only be getting worse. I don’t think it can handle the high intensity work I’m doing. It sucks… because it also couldn’t handle the high volume work I was doing previously. I’m starting to lose interest in powerlifting because I just can’t convince myself that adding 10 pounds to my PR is worth the frustration and pain associated with getting there. 

I haven’t decided what I’m doing yet. Part of me is saying to take a back-off week, give it some rest, and get back on the wagon. But another part of me is ready to just move away from strength training for a while. It’s frustrating to keep taking time off for this injury, only to re-awaken it the day I start lifting again. 

Anyway, no heavy lifting this week. We’ll see what happens after that. I plan to stay very active, I’m just gonna have to be creative with how 😉 

In other news, I spent the day with my family and it was wonderful 🙂 It was my grandparents 61st wedding anniversary! SO AWESOME!

Grandparents, parents, and all my amazing siblings 🙂

Training Log for Friday-Sunday
Friday Oct 11

Deadlifts
135# x 5
185# x 3
225# x 2
255# x 2
255# x 2
255# x 2

Deficit Deadlifts: 1 set of 5 at 235# standing on 1 plate

Conditioning: 1500m Row (Split into intervals, 2 minutes on, 1 minute off) 
(my back felt like trash after this session…. as it did after my squats on Monday, and my bench on Wednesday)

Saturday Oct 12

Overhead Press
45# x 5
55# x 5
67.5# x 5
67.5# x 5
67.5# x 5

Front Squats: 
45# x 5
95# x 5
135# x 3
155# x 2
175# x 1
185# x 1 (pr)
195# x 1 (20# pr!) I was very happy to hit this 🙂 

Again… my back was totally destroyed.  

Sunday Oct 13

Conditioning: 

Today, I went for a jog with my dog . Then we went to the park and did some sprints.

40m x 10

It was a nice low impact way to get sweaty and feel like I was accomplishing something without hurting myself.

Tomorrow, my husband and I are planning to go on a 10 mile ruck. A little urban hiking should be a good way to get moving around without adding 200+ pounds to my spine 🙂 I’m not sure what the rest of the week holds, but I know I need a break from the weights for the time being. Perhaps I’ll go to some CrossFit classes and run around with my friends there. We shall see. 

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8 thoughts on “Taking a break… because I’m broken

  1. Hope your back feels better! I feel your pain… I screwed up a disc deadlifting a little over a year ago and the only thing that really helps keep it in check is weighted reverse hypers.

  2. I’ve been lurking on your blog for a while now and finally decided to comment! Injuries suck and, as much as we don’t want to, taking time off really helps. I don’t think you have to give up powerlifting completely, but a good 4-6 weeks off would really help. I have a shoulder injury and I made the mistake of thinking two weeks off training would be enough, when it only made it worse to jump back in. My competition season is over so I’m laying off the pressing for at least 6 weeks. I know I will lose strength in the progress but 6 weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things, if it means I can come back healthier and happier.

  3. Hey! So first of all, I hope your back is feeling better and you know that I sympathize with existential crises (injury-related or otherwise).

    My one comment is that losing interest in powerlifting is not necessarily a bad thing. I sometimes miss the PRs and I miss knowing I could walk into the gym and emasculate every dude in the place. But… powerlifting will always be there and taking a break from forcing myself to PR has been such a relief, as I think you’ve gathered. One thing I’ve noticed is that people who are powerlifters, especially women, don’t stick exclusively to powerlifting for their entire lives. They dabble in a lot of other things, like crossfit or bodybuilding or strongman… or even GORUCK. 😉 One thing I’ve found is that I always look forward to doing my interval workout, which I never expected and improving my conditioning is way more important ffor my general health than being able to squat 300lbs. And I’ve been doing a lot of yoga to help with my hip and monkey-brain. There’s a whole world of fitness out there to discover!

    Taking a break now – for however long, maybe a week, maybe months or years – doesn’t mean you won’t be able to come back when you’re feeling more interested, and your back might just thank you for taking a break sooner rather than later. The thing is… powerlifting in itself isn’t worth an existential crisis, because it’s only a small part of your life. I hope you found that in the ice cream and homemade bread. 😉

    • Thanks Lady 🙂 This is nice to hear. My back isn’t hurting too badly normally, it’s really only after I lift. So normal life is fine.

      I’ve been much less self-loathsome today than I was yesterday. I actually made a point of “being nice to myself” — Letting myself eat food that I liked, and taking it easy on myself as I didn’t work toward the weird goals that I set for myself. It felt good. By the end of the day, I went on a big ruck with my husband and signed up for some CrossFit classes. Kind of refreshing to do what I wanted without feeling like it’s going to hurt my gains.

      We’ll see how things go. I know I’ll be lifting heavy again after a few weeks off, but the time off is welcome right now 🙂

  4. Hi Lifterly,
    I just stumbled across your blog and love what I have read so far. Being an athlete who is currently injured myself, and struggling with back issues, I thought I was reading my own post for a minute there. I appreciate hearing your point of view and seeing how you deal with your obstacles. Listen to your body and take care 🙂 Thanks for the great posts.

    • Thanks for posting. Yep these back injuries are the WORST! It’s always nice to see how others handle it. I followed you’re blog too, looking forward to hearing more from you 😉 Cheers!

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